I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
