I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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