AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Drake has all the answers
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
