Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
