love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
