All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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