You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
