Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
