K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dignity is for republicans.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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