I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
