dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
