if i died would you start the facebook group?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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