She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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