DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
