Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
