no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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