I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize