We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
