I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
