trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
