she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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