Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
