Whod you bang
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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