forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
