New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
