I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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