He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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