He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
