somebody snuck up and got me drunk
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I will pee on everything he values.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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