i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
