Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
