So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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