I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
too bad you live with your parents still
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i think i just lost a toe
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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