What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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