that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize