i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My cat gives me a boner
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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