and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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