...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
