Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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