Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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