new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
