hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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