Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
