He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize