He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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