ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize