I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
this is an emotional support booty call
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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