OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
