Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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