I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
