just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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