The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
