I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize