We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
