I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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