so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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