I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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