i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
