but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize