You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
