Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
