Me too!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
