I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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