If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
