I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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