Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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