Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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