Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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